Tuesday, December 22

I miss my Lola

Hay... 2 days to go and its Christmas Day already and on this day will also be the 40th day of the death of my Lola Estaling. Honestly, I do not feel the spirit of Christmas this year. Before my lola got ill I was starting to decorate my house. I have already installed
the christmas lights on the windows and managed to put some christmas stockings. When Lola got sick and was confined at St. Lukes Medical Center, everyone in the family got busy attending to her needs. My mother was always beside her during those times. I would be my mother's "relyebo" during the day after my morning's shift from my work so that my Mom could sleep during the day. Since my lola could not ambulate anymore on her own especially when she needs to go to the toilet. Sigh... I miss her so much...
My cousins always teases me that I am the favorite apo out of all 16 grandchildren. Needless to say that I am a "lola's girl". I remember when I was a child when she and my lola would pay as a visit here in Mla. I always sleep beside her and my lolo. My lola spoiled me by buying things I needed for school like new bag or new shoes since my parents could not afford to buy us those luxuries. She would secretly hand me 1oophp everytime they will go back to the province (Baler, Aurora). If its time for them to go, I would grab my Lola's legs and grasp so that she could'nt walk and of course I will cry and beg her not to go! I could also vividly remember our goodbyes when my family was about to live in Iligan City in Mindanao. She hugged me so tight and cried. I was 7 or 8 y/o then, I was trying to hold my tears for it will just add up to the drama scene.
Christmas won't be the same without my Lola Estaling. When christmas is near I always make sure that I buy my lola a gift. Last year I didnt give her the usual bag or blouse for a xmas gift to her. I bought a big picture frame and made a collage of photos of her. When I handed her over my gift, I was relieved when she smiled and asked me"Bakit mo naman naisipan to?" She told me she likes it very much and that she boasted it immediately to my aunt, uncles and cousins. This year I already bought a present for her since I buy gifts for xmas as early as July. Last week when I was starting to wrap my christmas gifts, I started to cry when I saw the supposedly gift for my Lola. I will miss our usual bolahan especially when I pay her a visit I would always call her "Lolang maganda!" and she would tell me "shempre! San ka pa magmamana!" then she will grasp my face and kiss me on my lips then give me a tight hug. Now that she's gone nothing will be the same...
I am glad that I was able to show and say how much I love her. Was able to thank her for the good things and wisdoms she shared with me. I was the one beside her in ICU when the priest was annointing her. It is a very bitter moment to see her suffer. When the priest was almost done with the ceremony, her BP was deteriorating so they told me to go out and I knew its a "Code Blue" by then. They resuscitated her but she was already in coma. Good thing before that, each member of the family was able to talk to her. Common thing she told each and every member of the family is to love one another. Coincidence? This may be why her 40th day of death falls on Dec. 25, which is Christmas Day.

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